Recently I was given another small glimpse into our child’s life and how hard it must be for him to have a normal, happy day. Everyday he goes out into the world and The Haters are circling, like vultures waiting to prey. The Haters use every opportunity to peck away at his personal being, taking him down one jab at a time. Why do The Haters do this? Because they can.
My recent encounter with The Haters was on the Internet. I was the victim of harsh criticism. An anonymous stranger on Reddit with the name I Rate Cats took quick aim at me spouting words like abuser, narcissist, dangerous and lunatic.
I Rate Cats….Honestly I don’t even know what that name means. Does this person sit around all day rating pictures of cats on a scale from 1 to 10? Is this a group of very cool people who are really angry?
Get it…irate cats.
Maybe this is just a lonely soul plagued with some horrible need to troll the Internet cutting people down. I am referred to as a cat, but I quickly became the mouse.
“Sigh…my education continues.”
Beware of The Haters! Lesson #26,972.
I’ll be honest, when I received that comment on Reddit I was creeped out. Let’s face it, the Internet makes us vulnerable and right now, my family is vulnerable enough. In my deepest conscience I could hear the whispering echoes of my parents cautioning words.
“You were right Mom and Dad”
I take advice and criticism well and I give them both an equal amount of importance in our healing process. I’ve had to learn to read between the lines and then read between the smaller imaginary lines as well. With this in mind, I dwelled on the message conveyed in that post. I am ashamed to admit it, but this post set me back.
“I don’t like set backs.”
It is time to re-evaluate, again.
I can’t image how my son manages to face the world with a smile every day. The instant he puts his foot out the door he too becomes a mouse. He moves through every moment of his life with his guard up, yet he always manages to find beauty in his surroundings.
He is truly amazing.
My family could sense my quiet unease as I was working this out in my mind. Just a year ago we didn’t realize our child was cutting and today the smallest unusual silence in our household is immediately questioned. This is Progress!
I like the progress.
Have I have made mistakes? Of course. I have made quite a few mistakes actually, and I am thankful for every single stumble I’ve made on my path. My mistakes like my successes show in every line of experience and age written on my face. I have learned from my mistakes. I have grown from my mistakes.
Could this Blog be another mistake?
While considering those harsh words from a stranger I thought back on the many conversations I’ve had with my new son, my family and my friends.
I remembered the initial terror I felt the day my son told me he was going to change the world for the Trangender Youth. I remembered my own desperate search for someone I could relate to. I remembered the many times our family had discussed how we could turn this wonderful gift into a positive inspiration for others.
I remembered the many words of love and encouragement we have received from friends, old and new. I remembered how even those friends who didn’t understand our sons transition were still kind and caring. I remembered there are a lot of decent people in the world.
While considering those harsh words from a stranger, I turned to my family for advice. As usual, my family reminded me of my successes, not my failures.
Ahhhhh my safe place….no Haters here.
My family reminded me how for every one mistake I have made, I have managed to do at least 20 things right. My family reminded me that the odds are in my favour.
My family reminded me if my son is not dwelling on my mistakes then why would I dwell on the ignorant fluff of a stranger? I have come full circle. My setback is resolved. My writers block was over.
I am not sharing my child’s journey, or my husband’s journey. They can write their own blog.
“This is hard work!”
This is about me and I am ok with it.
This Blog is about me turning to my friends for support and love. It’s about me sharing an open and honest reaction to our life altering journey of transition. This is about me helping other people. This is about me trying to heal.
I will continue sharing my journey with honesty, love, respect, humor, compassion and honour as my platform. This is how we make our world a better place. I want to make the world a better place.
To I Rate Cats (whoever you are) and all The Haters in our world, I say this:
If I was your mother I would hold you down and wash your filthy mouth out with soap.
Shame, shame on you!
Beware of this dangerous and narcissistic lunatic as I scream to the world in my most IRATE CAT cry.
Beware of The Haters…..but don’t let them get you down!
I have a son. His name is Josh.